So that brings us to the reason she told me she was entering a half-marathon. She isn’t going to race, or even run. They said it was ok if she just walked really fast. She told me she can do that, and they will help her practice to walk safely, with strength and endurance.

And here is why: She joined  Team World Vision! She heard about it at church. This team raises money so that people can help other people have clean water where they live in the Horn of  Africa. The lady actually visited  there three years ago, and met real people from the countries that are having a terrible drought right now. Some of the countries are Ethiopia, Kenya, Somalia, and Sudan.

This is the Horn of Africa

Well, she told me some stories she learned, about how the moms and kids have to spend all their time walking to try to find some water, and not getting to go to school or play. And that after they find the water, they have to lug it all the way back in a heavy container.

The more I heard, the more I was sorry I laughed the ice tea out my nose. Sheesh. Some people don’t even have ice tea. Or ice. Or water to make tea. I wondered if I skip drinking my water, can I send it to them? She said no, it was better for me to stay healthy, and that if I want,  when I do have a glass of water, I can say a prayer for the friends who don’t have water.

I still don’t quite see how people can get water from her pushing the barriers of physical endurance in January. But I guess if Jesus could turn water into wine, maybe by a miracle he could turn walking into water?

I hope so.

Can't everybody have a glass of clean water?

The reason this is so funny is because she does not run. Ever. She walks, but only to and from the bedroom and kitchen, and the car, in which she drives everywhere. She is practically like an old gramma lady, who just makes potato salad and wears her hair in a bun. I snuck and took a picture of her to prove it to you:

Gramma! Gramma! two by four...

That is actual potato salad she is making, and just look at her! All I know is, it made my day. I haven’t laughed that hard in my entire life!

Once I calmed down, I tried to ask her what she was talking about, because I could tell she was serious, her face was all wrinkly-mad-like. I think she didn’t tell me the whole story, because she thought maybe I wouldn’t belive her, so all I know right now is she told me her efforts were going to help bring clean water to drought stricken places in Eastern Africa. I stopped laughing when I heard that, but I have to tell you, I will have to get the whole story. I think I better wait til tomorrow to bring it up. In the meantime, she has been on the computer a lot! I promise to bring a full report soon.

He is from England. You have to imagine the box.

Well, today we had some visitors here at the house, real people all the way from England. I do not think they came here in a box, but in an airplane. The man and the lady met them at church, and invited them over for “tea” this afternoon. Tea was a very small portion of what was served. There were loads of plates with all kinds of treats. I think that is how they do it in England.

They are here attending a conference where people figure out how to hack into your account and change your name and make your passcode all encrypted and secure, or something. I am not sure. I might have it sort of mixed up. I was listening from the bedroom, because I was sort of shy. They have very fancy accents, and sound so smart, way way smarter than the man and the lady here. And they were  funny! I could hear them all laughing in the kitchen. I decided I didn’t want to risk them laughing at me, an American Monkey, so I stayed out of sight for most of the visit.

But right before they left, I got hauled out to make a presentation. The English Gentleman actually said “I have always wanted to hear a monkey’s opinion.”  But before I could launch into my main topic there were poses and flashbulbs going off, and I never really did get to say much of anything.

They are from England. No box.

They were so nice and charming.  She is a brilliant computer scientist, and he is a dynamic speaker and charity strategist.  They are dignitaries from another country, and I respected them. So much so, in fact,  that I did not correct the Gentleman when he said he was “on Holiday.” Holiday! Everyone knows that means Christmas, and here it is only August! Maybe they do things differently in England. I would ask Big Monkey, but I think he is on Holiday at Sarah’s house.

He is so happy when he is with her.

He better come home soon. I have to learn  more about England.

The man and the lady are hardly ever here, they always say they are going to “Butte.” I thought that was in Montana, but I guess it isn’t, because they always come home late every day and sleep here. But that’s about it. I feed the cat, and water the plants, and bring in the mail and I even make sure there is bird seed in the feeder. I have no idea what these people are up to, and why they seem to have lost interest in their home and in me and the cat, but I don’t have time to waste on speculations. I am going to borrow the young man’s towel, take my ice tea, and go lie out in the sun in the back yard! This is summertime living at its best!

This summer I am going to get a good tan.

Here’s what I did:

Last week, on our way home from the Los Angeles District Assembly, it was sort of late at night, and I was thinking about all the encouraging things I had heard, and was trying to decide not to be such a selfish monkey. And then I heard about a family I know who didn’t have any food in their cupboards, and I had three bananas, so I decided to take my bananas to their house and share.  I snuck into their house before they got home. I tried to make it obvious I was not a burglar. They were somewhat shocked when they came home to see me, a monkey, on their kitchen table. But I think they were even more shocked to see the three bananas I brought!

Well it turned out I was the one that was shocked. I learned that the reason their cupboards were empty was because they hadn’t been home for a couple weeks and had not gone to the grocery store, not because they were destitute like I had hoped. I started to get mad, that maybe I had wasted my bananas on them, because they actually could afford to go to the store, and I only had three bananas to my name. I felt like an idiot. I started to think sharing was stupid.

But I couldn’t stay mad very long. The boy and girl that lived there were so happy to see me, and the mom was so happy that she didn’t have to go to the grocery store at 6 a.m., and the dad was happy because the mom and kids were happy. Then I really started to feel like an idiot. But a happy idiot. I was just having fun with them all, and playing with toys and books. I ended up staying a whole week, we kept doing fun things every day.

See: Play + Vacation = Playcation.

I got to play with real toys: legos and a village with tiny dolls and figures of cars and furniture and household effects.

When you play with little toys, you can imagine they say anything!

The boy and I admired the tropical jungle-like quality of his back yard.

This boy is non-stop fun.

Plus he and I read some books together. One book rather upset him, because he is a very sensitive, caring young lad. It is a book called “The Family Under the Bridge”, a story about some children that actually live and sleep under a bridge in Paris because they don’t have enough money to live indoors.  Everything in the story works out in the end, but one night he had to go to bed half-way through the story! We had to stop at a very tense part of the book! So I made sure he got to sleep, and didn’t worry about the story children.

"sleep my child and peace attend thee, all through the night.."

So, I guess it doesn’t matter why you share your food or any of your other things. It seems like it just makes everybody happy when you do share.

The boy is part of a very stable family.

After a week, I did go back to my home with the man and the lady and the other monkeys.

But now I am part of the boy’s family, too.

Mostly I asked if I could go because I heard we were going to stay in a really fancy hotel. See, since it is a church trip, and they are supposed to be all holy and not too worldly or vain, they are supposed to stay in a clean, comfortable, affordable, unpretentis, non-fancy hotel. And they tried to do that. But the group leader found out that all the non-fancy hotels were booked, so the hotel company had to give the whole group reservations at the most fancy hotel in America! So I begged, and two other monkeys got to come, too.

They must have heard we were coming, because right inside the door in the room, there was a plate with delicious tropical fresh-fruit delights, all for monkeys only.

I can't believe they made this for me.

Oh, all right, I'll share. Who wants to eat the orchid?

There were special treats for the man and the lady, but they were on an honor system, which meant they had to pay, so since they are cheap, they did not have anything, except the cookies they snuck in from home.

We had the most comfortable bed!

5-star sleep for sure.

When the man and lady were gone, we spread out on their king-size mattress. I have to admit, we did jump.

You could play football on this thing.

They anticipate all your needs at this hotel. The man had tracked mud in on his shoe, from home, so I found a sterling silver mud-removal device, and scraped it right into the sink.

Mud is no match for me.

I wasn’t really a voted delegate, but I took my responsibilites as a partner in sound church health and spiritual encouragement very seriously. I made a point of meeting other pastors from other churches.

My friends Doug and Sondi from San Luis Obispo

In fact, I made a point of having a meaningful chat with Dr. J.K. Warrick, one of the six Nazarene world leader-helper guys. He is very important, but he is really just a humble servant of the Lord.

And don't forget to tell that story about Jesus and the boy and his lunch.

Even though it was an assembly for a big churchy thing, we were reminded that Jesus came to show everybody how to  love everybody and to share your lunch. And dinner. And house. And everything.

It’s ok with me that I won’t be doing any of that. It really is.  I am going to just sort of have a quiet day and contemplate some things.

Jesus said a quote one time:

“No one has seen the Father except the one who is from God, He has seen the Father.”

I wonder if Jesus ever gave his Father a tie.

Have a wonderful Father’s day everyone!